Express Yourself Girl!

Today, I went to my cousin’s wedding. She used to live with us when she was still studying in college… My mom was one of her Sponsors.. It was a very beautiful day to get married. Since, the wedding is gonna take place in the province.. My mom and I left around 3.30 am.. My mom arranged us a ride with her cousin.. They decided to meet-up at Gaisano tabunok since it’s both convenient to both sides.. When we arrived there, we waited at least 5-8 minutes then our ride finally came..

It was a looooonnngg ride…. I’m not usually the talkative kind of person but I talk to people I’m close with, but in this case.. I’m meeting the cousins I rarely see and two cute and adorable nieces. I’m not actually sure what to say to them.. so I left the talking to my mom.. since she knew all of the passengers so well.. :) 

When we arrived at the church, it was still the same old-new looking church I’ve once seen during my childhood.. If I remembered correctly I was 9 years old since the last time I came there.. :) 

I saw my Aunties that I haven’t seen in awhile.. And I’ve observed that the way the people interact there is like FAMILY, even though they’re just neighbors.. I even thought that they are all related to our family tree.. I’ve also observed that most people there doesn’t give a damn about the usual things that bothers me during an occasion like this.. example: clothes, accessories I’d wear, make-up and a lot more girly stuff I’m always concerned about.. To them, the most important thing is the WEDDING ITSELF.. :) To them, we should all give the bride and the groom our blessings.. we should all smile to them and never pout ‘cause it’s bad luck.. 

It made me realize that there are a lot more important things in life than those petty girlishness..

My family and I are not the rich kind.. but we’re not the poor kind also.. we’re just average.. I never thought that I also have family members that aren’t lucky in life yet.. I saw some of the houses of my Aunts.. and boy, I was so shocked to see how simple looking it was.. It was all traditional.. the kind that you usually see in the textbooks of children.. I still can’t believe that “Bahay na Kubo” still exists.. the most amazing part of it is that the lavatory/bathroom is outside the house.. :) 

I’m so thankful that I came with my mom today.. It was an experience that I could never forget.. :) I saw some of my relatives struggle in poverty.. My heart really ache. If only I was rich enough to help them…. I can’t imagine my grandfather and grandmother used to lived like that.. My grandparents used to tell us that life in the olden days were so different than the life we have now.. They even told us the time when they were hiding from the JAPANESE GOVERNMENT.. the time, when they have nothing else to eat but camote, banana and if they get lucky a native chicken..

Other thing I’ve learned today is that poverty will NEVER STOP AN AMBITIOUS MAN.. :) I’m so proud of my grandparents ‘cause they’ve rise themselves up and tried to live a better life.. :D 

I’ve learned a lot today and somehow this day gave me a roller coaster feeling.. I was happy with the views I’ve seen, the new memories I’ve created with my other relatives then, I’ve felt a little emotional about my relatives situation but then, I’ve become proud ‘cause for them they are contented with a simple life as long as they’re happy.. and as far as I could see it, I saw a lot of SMILES in their faces.. :)

Hopefully, when I see them again.. they’ll have a much more better life.. A life they deserve much better.. :) 

-dayanaramae 05/11/2013

I don’t want to sound UNGRATEFUL

But I don’t think my life is that PRECIOUS

I know it may seemed RIDICULOUS

But, I know my life is not that WONDERFUL

I have a lot of flaws and IMPERFECTIONS

My life is full of CRAZY MISCOMMUNICATIONS

I’m not that VOCAL when it comes to my feelings

Deep inside my heart is LOUDLY WEEPING

I’ve always wanted to end this silly little life of mine

But something’s stopping me from pushing that red button

It’s as if there’s still HOPE which is as small as a dime

I hope that this HOPE is as absolvent as cotton

 I don’t know how this silly poem ends

But from now on, I don’t want to pretend

My feelings should be as free as a bee

So that I can be who I’m supposed to be.

-dayanaramae <3